I think scott just propositioned me for sex
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
