so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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