Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
