HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
These tits shall not be calmed
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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