i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
