I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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