I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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