I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
