plz talk dirty to me
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
