Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize