What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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