No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
