Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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