good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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