Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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