I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
