just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
