omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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