giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
