u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize