he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
