I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
