Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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