So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
