u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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