No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
