she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
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The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
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Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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