I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
