Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
