The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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