I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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