Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
