I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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