My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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