me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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