Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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