okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
