Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
