What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
