I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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