Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
