question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Girls should come with a carfax report
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
