standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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