my mouth tastes like poor choices
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
