Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
