So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
