i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
