She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
