your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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