tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
