We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
