Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
