I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
