just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just gift wrapped bread.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
