we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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