sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
