He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
