i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
