Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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