yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize