I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
