i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
